Les Lobbs Diary
Another month nearer spring. Good pic of Barry the mole innit?
Head of knitwear did well yesterday and raised £25 for the new room, or "Room 4 U" as the project is called. It was
a bright but cool day, so lots of folk turned up and made it a really successful morning. The downside is a lemon
drizzle cake that allegedly shouted "buy me, buy me" and could not be resisted; spose I'll have to force myself to
eat a small portion of it.
The white stuff is apparently in abundance at P'boro, but we're managing to avoid it so far. What's it like near you
Gloria, has the "Black country" turned white?
Me and my big mouth, nearer spring pftt, twas minus
5 here last night!
We've just got back from Tivvy, where we got caught
in a blizzard (well a drop of sleet) and popped into a
cafe for a pot-o-tea and teacake.
There's a large store closing down in Tivvy, so Dawn
went bargain hunting; you've guessed it, shoes at
never to be beaten prices! Fortunately she did think
of me and bought me a couple of bags of horse poo,
for the tomatoes; not quite the same as shoes, but the
thought was there.
We'em got our sunshine back!!
Head of horticulture is in the garden hacking gurt big
chunks off the plants, I think er said it was pruning. I just
made a pot of tea and, for the first time this year, we sat
in t'back yard in the sun and enjoyed our cuppa. Small
pleasures an all that!
Help, I'm falling deeper into the rut! We put up a satellite dish yesterday and have now got a telly; I'm heading for the
cardy and slippers brigade and will soon be doing the numbers on Countdown, instead of watching Rachel.
We've had a few lengths of decking board kicking about since last summer, so today we made a couple of troughs for
the tomatoes and peppers in the greenhouse. Good to be able to work in the garage and feel your fingers!
Marie - glad to hear Mike is on the mend, just in time to give the mower its first trip of the year.
Silverton in t'sun
Wot a smashing day! We sat on the patio this morning for a morning cuppa and then, after lunch, we moved the
compost heap and titivated the garden a bit before taking the rays again. Soon be time to get out the factor 50 and
trowel again, if this weather keeps on.
Olaf Svenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, takes a lightning-quick kick from a cow...right in his
crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.
As soon as he could manage it, he took himself to the doctor. He said 'How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my
honeymoon next veek and my fiance, Lena, is still a Virgin - in every vay.'
The doctor told him, 'Olaf, I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal, and keep it straight. It should be okay
next week, but leave it in there as long as you can. He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4
sided splint, and taped it all together...quite an impressive work of art.
Olaf mentions none of this to Lena, marries her, and they go on their honeymoon to Duluth.
That night in the motel, Lena rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts. She said,
'Olaf...you're the first vun! No vun has EVER seen deez.'
Olaf immediately drops his pants and replies, 'Look at dis Lena ..still in DA CRATE!'
Job's done - after a bit of cussing lining up the sat dish! We now have freeview TV, ain't we the lucky ones; 'er'll be
wasting more money on the Radio Times next. I watched as it self-tuned and guess what popped up, only bliddy
"Paver's Shoes Channel"; anyone know how to delete it?
Went to see the surgeon this morning and he wants to have an ultra sound done on my knee, but thinks that it is
probably as good as it's going to get. He's reluctant to operate again and I'm not that keen meself.
Getting a bit milder now, letting our chief stump-clearer finish off the root she's been worrying. Stuff coming on at a
rate in the greenhouse; we cleared out unused seed trays etc this afternoon, to make room for pricked out seedlings.
I've been cutting timber ready for making a couple of planters requested by a friend; once they're all routed and
drilled, it's a fairly straight forward job to assemble them.
At the gym this morning, I told the physio that next week would be my last visit, as the surgeon cannot see me getting
anymore benefit from it. Good job I hadn't invested in the lycra outfit innit!!
Strong language >>>>
Parked in the garden of friends Nigel & Eileen, who live twixt Bristol & Bath. We've been putting together a couple of
web pages to advertise a shepherd's hut he has made and a smashing job he's made of it! They are the sort of couple
I could talk to for hours; they have been travelling for most of their lives with Nigel using his carpentry and general
building skills to get work throughout Europe while they raised their children.
Back in Devon, after visiting Julie at work in
Glastonbury on the way home. Some more
modifications to do on the van before its next outing;
nowt major, just things to make life easier.
Mum coped OK while we were away, which is
reassuring if we want to do longer trips.
Devon's a bit damp at the moment; it's been pelting
down all day and is still at it.
We drove into Exeter to collect my new specs and
wished we hadn't; it's half term and the roads are
mayhem. One lady, with a car load of ankle-biters,
decided to ignore a "no left turn" sign and blocked a
junction completely for a while, before driving the
wrong side of the centre bollards and tanking off in a
cloud of smoke.
On the way home we called at the garden centre for a
relaxing cuppa and came away with a "don't I look
pretty, buy me" plant, which we have now got to find a
Just spoke to Gloria and Roger, who are wilding in the
Dudley outback; they're both well and glad to be out in
the van. (it's raining up there as well!)
Silverton - 13.00
Visited the gym this morning for the last time - I hope; I'm officially on parole now.
Glorious sunshine, makes you want to get outside and do summat; fortunately my advisor will decide
what that summat is, save me fretting about it.
How are you G&T and where are you. Gloria told me that Phil & Pat are in Quarteria and heading for
A cool start, but another sunny day - head of
housekeeping even hung some washing outside to
dry! A couple more planters in production, for the
same local charity Dawn sold her knitwear for; just
diddy 400mm ones, but they take as much making as
the larger ones. Keeps me outta mischief!
Our correspondents in Spain - G&T - are basking in
luxury at Fuengirola, but pressing on westwards
SENIORS COFFEE GROUP
A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking
about all their ailments at Weatherspoon's.
"My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of
coffee," said one.
"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad;
can't even see my coffee."
"I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time because my
hands are so crippled," volunteered a third
"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you, said one
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,"
said one, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed
"I forget where I am and where I'm going," said another.
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an
old man as he slowly shook his head.
The others nodded in agreement.
"Well, count your Blessings," said a woman cheerfully....
"Thank God we can all still drive."
This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just
how quickly you can find out what is so unusual
about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would
think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is
wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it
and think about it, but you still may not find anything
odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.
Try to do so without any coaching!
Windy, windy, windy.
We've been pricking out carnations in the greenhouse and it felt as if it was going to take off at times. If we space
them out at 3" intervals in the garden, we might just squeeze them all in!
This morning I went to see the chap who did my hernia op and all's ok, he doesn't want to see me again.
I've finished one of the mini planters, but the wind was whistling through the garage, so I'll finish t'other one
tomorrow. Head of catering has been cooking a batch of chicken curries for Steve; I think the idea is to take them
over to Taunton tomorrow
Silverton - 19.00
Busy day today; first stop was to deliver the curries to
Taunton, where we had a chat with Julie. Next port of
call was Burnham on Sea, where we visited the
cheapo shop and had a wee bite o lunch at
Weatherspoons - bugger, we know how to push the
Yesterday morning we had a power cut and during it,
the first mate decided to take a bath. We may be on
gas ch but the boiler needs electricity to run,
unbeknown to her goodself. When the first leg dipped
in the water there was a loud shriek and an
observation about carnal practices in the underworld -
My mate used to work on the dodgems and today he got sacked.
I told him to appeal on the grounds of funfair dismissal.
A nippy start followed by wall to wall sunshine.
One more day and then it's March, innit flyin by!
I've finished both mini planters and mended a drawer that Mum is sure needs slamming shut every time; it's not the
first time, as evidenced by the glue lines, but this time I've fitted a support piece which should extend its life.
The primroses and bellis daisies are now flowering with the pansies, to make a colourful show in t'garden. Bulbs are
popping up everywhere but neither of us can remember what we planted where, so twill be a surprise when they
What did the chicken see when he crossed the road?
His flat mate.