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Les Lobbs Diary
August 2014
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01/08/2014
Silverton
Pics on the left show progress so far; we've run out of blocks and are waiting for a delivery this morning. The new fence panel, to replace the modified one behind the wall, was delivered yesterday and should be slotted in place before we lay any more blocks. The weather forecast shows the fine weather breaking up today and then a weekend of rain, so we'em gotta crack on this morning. Wickes have sent a message to let us know they are delivering the timber for the arch/arbour and the decking this morning; hope they beat the rain! We miss the camper, because we have to get timber and the like delivered, whereas before we would collect it in the van.
Our village has its annual street market tomorrow and rain will really spoil it for all the stall holders - the pubs will do OK though!
02/08/2014
Silverton
It stayed dry until lunchtime, which was good for the street market and also gave us chance to finish the wall - don't they make the blocks heavy nowadays!
The decking timber arrived yesterday, with not too many banana pieces. While we wait for the gas bottles on Thursday and the boiler to be connected, we're going to sort out the pads to take the decking bearers; got to get the levels right, cos we want it to line up with the existing patio.
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward.
"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
The frightened burglar stopped dead. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes", replied the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot, "What's your name?"
"Moses" said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Moses?"
The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the rottweiler Jesus."
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05/08/2014
Silverton
Into Exeter this morning for 08.00 appt with physio; after trying to unscrew my leg, he decided it was slightly improved since my last visit and told me to keep doing the exercises and come back in 3 weeks.
Our route home was via Aldi, because I have at last got power to the fridge/freezer in the summerhouse and it needed filling; I helped with the shopping, so we now have a good range of cheeses and BBQable goodies (I won't mention the Guinness!).
We've had a lot of rain today, so no work on the decking pads - we have got the first of 3 rows done, so levelling the others should be easier. The garage is slowly coming into shape, with the tools getting sorted and shelved - bugger I have got some gear!!
A farmer went to the local bank to borrow money for a new bull. The loan was made and Banker Bill, who lent the money, came by a week later to see how the bull was doing.
The farmer complained that the bull just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.
Banker Bill suggested that he have a vet take a look at the bull. Next week, Banker Bill returned to see if the vet had helped.

The farmer looked very pleased. "The bull has serviced all of my cows! He broke through the fence, and bred all my neighbor's cows! He's been breeding just about everything in sight. He's like a machine!"

"Wow," said Banker Bill, "what did the vet do to that bull?"

"Just gave him some pills," replied the farmer.

"What kind of pills?" asked Banker Bill.

"I don't know, but they kind of taste like peppermint." said the farmer.
07/08/2014
Silverton
Two sides of the archway done and stained; just waiting for some timber to make the trellis panels, because my financial adviser tells me there is no way we are paying the ridiculous price being asked for ready made trellis.
Paul brought Josh and Katy to see us today and we had a sausage and burger feast in the garden before they continued on to North Devon.
For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10 speed bicycle.
His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is £280,000 and your mother just lost her job.
There's no way we can afford it.'
The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase.
So he asked, 'Son, where are you going?'

Little Joseph told him, 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out.
Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.
And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £280,000 mortgage and no bloody bike.'
08/08/2014
Silverton
M&M, so sorry to hear your news, you've been going through some very sad times lately.
Gas bottles all fitted and the boiler up and running - yipeeeee.
Now, after getting it ready this afternoon, we are raring to pour the last of the concrete, to cover the pipe work and complete the new path. With this in mind, we expect it to be pouring down in the morning!

09/08/2014
Silverton
Ahhhhhhhh, concreting finished; it just started to drizzle as we finished, so we covered it with a tarp, which we have now removed. We'll probably be in the garage tomorrow, cos it's not looking very rosy for outside jobs. This evening we sat outside with a glass of wine (to help us wind down, you understand) and looked at the mini mountain of rubble that we are hoping to put under the decking; gaffer thinks it'll fit no problem, I'm not so sure.
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Use the letters from the word below, to fill in the blank squares, making complete words both down and across.
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WOODINESS
11/08/2014
Silverton
We'em had short sharp showers today, but they were enough to soak our garden chairs, which take ages to dry. Heating chaps tested out and signed off the boiler this morning - now we eagerly await the invoice! On the plus side, we've accepted an offer on t'boat, hopefully complete within a month.
13/08/2014
Silverton
Still too wet and muddy to finish off the decking pads, so it's garage again today; it's coming together now, but we're still finding "treasures" we had forgotten about. Yesterday, I had my first hydrotherapy session and very good it was; I have now managed a 75 degree bend with my knee and, if I can just get a little more, I'll be able to drive again.
The buyer is having a survey done on the boat next Wednesday and, all being well, should be able to complete early Sept.
The pics on the right show progress to date; the decking will cover the area the mixer is on and finish on the new concrete leading to the gas/recycle centre.
15/08/2014
Silverton
More rain yesterday and it meant we had to work on the arbour and arch in the garage; perhaps a good thing because it was getting a bit crowded in there.
Last evening we got a phone call to say the buyer for our boat had pulled out, so tis back on the market again.
07.00 - At last the archway is finished and in place; head of gardening has been threading clematis through it and persuading the grape vine to head that way, with lengths of string. We've just got the roof to make for the arbour and then we can get that assembled and fixed in position; it'll seem strange not having to fight our way past the various parts to get into the garage.
17/08/2014
Silverton
Jean and Ivan came yesterday morning, to collect Mum, who is staying with them for the weekend. It was a busy morning because we were making the most of the dry conditions and laying some more of the bearers for the decking. Soon after J&I arrived, our campervan friend Barrie popped in, after his satnav had taken him on a scenic tour of the back roads of Devon. Twas good to have a chat and we'd had enough of playing builders; after a bite of lunch Barrie left us to carry on his journey and we did a couple more bearers.
This morning, after an aborted attempt to Skype Trevor in France, we decided to do a job that we've been putting off for ages - changing the bathroom door handle, catch and bolt for a modern handle with safety release. It took us two bliddy hours to do it, a job that should have taken half an hour at the most!
The arch and raised bed, with glimpse of summerhouse.
19/08/2014
Silverton
I spent yesterday on the bed; got bliddy BPPV (vertigo) again, can't stand up! It usually clears up after a few days but is not very pleasant.
Fortunately it didn't stop my mate, who was reluctant to take a few old pallets to the tip and spent hours playing pikey and pulling them to bits. I've been informed there is now a decent pile of useable wood for me to "do something" with.
The mixer's going back today, because what little mixing we've got left to do can be done in the barrow, and we're getting short of space with the mixer there.
21/08/2014
Silverton
Catastrophe yesterday, the oven packed in, so we had sausages instead of jacket pots. Dawn and Mum went into Exeter to buy a new cooker, cos considering the age of it, it didn't seem worth repairing.
Big erection this morning - we put the arbour up; we're calling it grudge. Only major jobbie remaining is laying the decking, which we'll make a start on tween the forecast showers.
If there's enough decking left over, we will use it as a floor in the arbour
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22/08/2014
Silverton
We've been blessed with fair weather today and have managed to get most of the decking joists in place. I thought I'd ordered treated pine but they appear to have sent banana wood! Head of covert operations has put membrane beneath the joists and is now hiding all the rubble on top of it before we screw down the decking planks - cheaper than a skip at £200+.
Enjoying the peace and quiet Ann?
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25/08/2014
Silverton
09.00 - I've just got to fit the step and a few support legs and we're ready to start plank laying - BUT, tis piddling down and, looking over the moors, it doesn't look as though it will be stopping anytime soon. Ne'er mind we've got the back panel of the arbour to make and we can do that in the garage.
When you get weather like this, it makes you glad you're not camping in Lincolnshire, doesn't it Barry!
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Use the letters from the word below, to fill in the blank squares, making complete words both down and across.
PARAMOURS
26/08/2014
Silverton
Back panel for the arbour made and treated yesterday and fitted this morning in a light "on/off" drizzle. I didn't know whether to do any work on the decking, but my clerk of works decided it was worth a go, so we ended up fitting step, legs and a fair chunk of the planking. I ought to mention that we have a fuschia that is near the new deck and has been a picture all summer; for some reason my assistant decided, after some very intricate footwork, to sit down right in the middle of it - it now looks like some sort of ground cover. (see pic below, after careful scaffolding with canes & string!)
27/08/2014
Silverton
This morning the weather looked iffy again, but we got started on the deck and have now reached the step down to the summerhouse veranda. Rob, a campervan friend of ours, called in lunchtime with his son in law; they had been delivering to Cornwall and found us on their return trip. As we sat chatting and munching bacon sarnies, it started to rain and, as it didn't look like stopping, we called it a day with the decking and drove out to a garden centre this afternoon - soon spend some dosh there can't you!
We were on the outskirts of Exeter, so head of purchasing decided a trip to Aldi's was a good idea and left me in the car while she "nipped in" for some salad stuff. Surprise, surprise, they had shoes on offer and just the type she'd been looking for!!
In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to an African jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel. After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers, he’s my right-hand man, he's really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless."

Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a humpbacked, one eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall. "Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."

"Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events, and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight division of the Olympics. I have researched the history of....."

Here the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind that Smithers, he can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to f**k off."
Sorry if I've used the above before, but I like it!
30/08/2014
Silverton
Twas fine for most of the day and we've virtually finished the deck - just the handrails need staining and fitting. It always seems to be the finishing off bits that take the time, or maybe it's just us!
Yesterday we had a ride to Tiverton market and got a couple of acers, 1 red and 1 green, for a tenner the two; most garden centres seem to be over £15 each.
Tomorrow, we have two paving slabs to replace on the patio, a job we're not looking forward to, but reckon if we put polyprop round the slab, I can help position it; well that's t'plan.