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Les Lobbs Diary
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April 2014
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03/04/2014
Taunton
I'm back off me hols, thanks for the good wishes. They redid my kneecap and took away loads of scar tissue; it seems some people produce more scar tissue than others and I can do it better than most. Loads of exercises to do again, but first I've got to get rid of the after effects of the morphine - they should use that stuff for making bricks!!
Cars going in for a service this morning, should be done by lunchtime.
L
04/04/2014
Taunton
Dawn's picking up the car this morning and probably going over to see Mum, before picking Alex up from school this afternoon. Think I'll have a quiet day in, doing my exercises and reading. It's a bit misty here but should brighten up later according to t'weather man.

T
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She points him to the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton wool balls and a ball of string on the counter.
Confused, she says "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers " You see it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she".
B
05/04/2014
Taunton
Decent start to the day, a tad cool though. The campsite's getting busier, with mostly vans stopping for a few nights and we've had a tent here this week. The car has just had a service and seems in fair nick underneath. We've put a couple of new tyres on the front as the others were well worn; I'm not bovvered how many dinks and scratches a vehicle's got, but I do want good tyres. Off to see Mum this morning once we've had some brekky and I've got my leg moving.
18.00 - It didn't go quite to plan; Dawn went to see Mum and I rang her, cos my knee was well swolled and wouldn't move much.
N
Paddy and Mick are working at the local sawmill.

One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital.

Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital and asks after Mick. The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising".

Paddy couldn't believe it, but there's Mick out the back exercising his now re-attached arm. The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill.

A couple of days go by, and then Mick slips and severs his leg on another big saw.

So Paddy puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick off to Hospital.

Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies, "He's out in the Rehab again exercising".

And sure enough, there's Mick out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. And very soon Mick comes back to work.

But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head.

Wearily Paddy puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Mick to hospital.

Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Mick is. The nurse breaks down and, crying, says "He's dead."

Paddy is shocked, but not surprised. "I suppose the saw finally did him in."

"No", says the nurse, "Some pratt put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
A
06/04/2014
Taunton
What a grey day as that Larry wotsisname chap used to say. Leg permitting, I'm going to try and get over to see Mum this morning, if head of transport will drive me. The peacocks here have got their full mating colours now and are a reet good sight to see; tis a pity they have to make such a horrible call, but I spose they can't have everything.
I
07/04/2014
Taunton
I wonder how many got the first anagram without google? Our van goes in this coming weekend for a few insurance jobs and its MOT, so we've got to get into "staying at daughters" mode and sort out what we need to take with us. Their dog will enjoy it cos he normally drags Dawn off on a few bonus walks. This morning I must ring Taunton physios and get an appt set up; I'm still not getting much bend on my leg, so the sooner I can get in, the better.
I
08/04/2014
Taunton
More fun today:- I've been bashing away at my exercises and yesterday I felt something "give"; the joint swelled up and would hardly bend, so after ringing, we went to see the hospital physio. He said it was a bleed inside the joint, which should disperse naturally, and gave me some less aggressive exercises to do.
While we were so near, we called in to see Mum on the way home. It's been a luverly day and Julie has just rung from Dawlish, where she and Steve have taken Alex for the afternoon.
N
10/04/2014
Taunton
07.00 - Well it's certainly starting off well, with sunlight streaming through the van windows. I had a bit of a naff day yesterday getting over the stronger painkillers and feeling like shite.
19.00 - How wrong can you be. When you have a knee op, their biggest fears are blood clots and infection and they tell you to call if you feel at all unwell. It was apparent by mid morning that my sweating, shivering and lack of appetite (yeah that's right) were not caused by drugs, so I rang and was told to come straight in. While the doc was taping a canula to my arm, I flaked out and Dawn reckons I was gone for a couple of minutes, before they got a trolley and some help to get on it.
The knee fellow came and looked at my knee and didn't think that was where the infection was and after loads of tests and a chest xray they discovered I had a urinary infection. Armed with anti biotics and under strict instructions to go straight back should I not feel better in a couple of days, we got home just before 6.
U
First drink!!
I took my son out for his first pint. Got us a Fosters each.
He didn't like it - I had his.
Then I got us Carlsberg, he didn't like that either, so I had to drink his as well.
It was the same with Guinness and Cider.
By the time we got down to the whisky I could hardly push the f**king pram home.
E
11/04/2014
Taunton
I wonder what today holds for us? I'd better tell you what happened to me yesterday. I have a tight tube gauze bandage to wear over my knee during the day, to reduce swelling. As I can't reach to put it on, my loving other half does it for me. She was pushing it up past my knee when she lost her grip on the bandage and I got a straight right in my nut cluster. I said, with tears in my eyes, "that was a silly thing to do dearest" or something similar!

I
12/04/2014
Taunton
Just had a message to say that G&T are safely home again after their winter travels.
It looks another good start here; a little misty, but hoping to see the sun later.
I
13/04/2014
Taunton
There was a bit of a cafuffle just after four this morning, so I expect it was a visit from Foxy and we'll find a few feathers and one hen less.
I think management is going to take us to Burnham this morning; I might be able to get my first pork roll of the season!!! I still can't get far on my crutches, so an all-day brekky is out.
A few weeks back, Dawn told Mum that she was going to have her hair permed and yesterday, when we visited Mum, she asked Dawn if she had got an appointment yet - she had it permed last week!!! Laugh, I couldn't stop; it's not often you see Dawn stuck for words, but she just sat there with her mouth open.
N
14/04/2014
Taunton
Just back from docs after instant weight loss treatment; they removed what felt like a couple of pounds of staples out my knee.
Glorious wall 2 wall sunshine in Zummerset so chairs out soon and do a bit of ray-grabbing.
Yesterday we met friends at Burnham; they were in their camper and made a brew, which we enjoyed while sitting round their picnic table - we got a few strange looks from passers by, but sod em.
A
R
15/04/2014
Taunton
Another great start in Sunnyset. The grass cutter's been out in readiness for the extra visitors Easter weekend should bring; with the apple trees just on the point of flowering, the place looks good. You know, you can see some beautiful and stunning scenery abroad, but there's something about springtime in this country that takes some beating.
I've probably used the bunny cartoon before, but it's one of my favourites, so I'm making no excuses for using it again!
A&B - great looking van, you'll be spending more time there than at home.
N
T
I'm on a new diet, it's called the Whisky diet - I've lost two days already!
T
16/04/2014
Taunton
J&J are over from France and are joining us today at the campsite, for a spot of lunch and a catch-up.
I've been reading a lot about "power naps" and how they can re-charge your system, I have even been doing a few trial runs. It seems that a common problem is how long to nap for and how to wake yourself up.
Well I think I've got that one sussed; a full pot of tea between us right after lunch and my bladder will wake me, just in time for 3-30 tea and biccies.
I would like to say I wake re-vitalised and full of energy, but I think I need a lot more practice before I reach that stage. I tend to wake hungry, thirsty and bustin for a pee, but I am going to stick at it, cos you know what they say "no pain, no gain." zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
T
R
17/04/2014
Taunton
John & Jean had lunch with us yesterday and it was good to catch up on their news and go down memory lane a bit; they lived opposite our first shop in Tiverton, before moving to France 25 years ago.
Can't do much today, cos I've got a hospital appt just after lunch.
Dawn's taken down all the curtains in the van and has been having a reet good spring clean; this started after she had a look round a very pretty PVC that stayed here for a few nights. Any day now I'm expecting "Chriiiis, why don't we stop at Chelston and look at the vans"
O
I
18/04/2014
Taunton
Yesterday we left with double the normal time it takes us to get to hospital and arrived at reception with a minute to spare (holiday makers, bless um!). I went straight in to see the knee fellow and he was pleased with the outcome of the operation and said I could start pushing the exercises along. The trip back to Taunton was less stressful and SuperGran got us home safe and sound.
I
Sex is like Air - it's not important until you aren't getting any!
T
N
19/04/2014
Taunton
Had a trip over to Mum's this morning cos the sediment trap on the oil tank was dripping; just needed tightening and the spillage clearing up.
The valley road from Tiverton is a real picture and the back road to Cullompton is the same, with fields in varying shades of green, mixed in with the odd one of yellow rape and unsown red soil.
Dawn is keeping an eye on the kids until Julie gets home later and I've got the van to myself.
****** FIRED ON THE FIRST DAY! ******

How do you manage to get fired on the first day in a Winnie the Pooh costume?
By putting on your costume trousers the wrong way around!
20/04/2014
Taunton
05.30 - Happy Easter,
The Easter bunny has missed us (again), so instead of crème eggs for brekky it looks as though it'll be bacon sarnies instead. Tis perhaps a good thing cos Julie is doing us a lamb roast lunchtime, so don't want to spoil my appetite.
The fine weather is forecast to break up today, but it still sounds dry, with no pitter patter on t'roof of van.
There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
14.00 - I used Skype to have a quick chat with Trevor this morning, surprising what we find to talk about!
It's here, rain that is.
We had a great lunch and now I'm going to practise my power naps, after I've done my exercises; I'm gradually increasing the bend so might get enough to try driving in a few days. Baz, spot on answer!!
21/04/2014
Taunton in the sun
Not another manic Monday, in fact quite a laid back day really.
We've had sun most of the day with the odd fluffy cloud, so the obvious thing to do was sit out and soak up a few rays.
The traffic report just now on local radio, has given solid traffic on the motorway from Tiverton to Bristol; what a way to finish your holiday.
I've got docs in the morning and then we'll probably visit Mum.
23/04/2014
Taunton
It's drizzling this morning, but not cold. We called in to see Mum after the doc's yesterday and I had a look at Dawn's handiwork in the garden; she's made a good job of it.
Update - it's now peeing down. We've nothing planned until the physio tomorrow morning, so it looks as though we'll be having another quiet day in.
24/04/2014
Taunton
There is a new Aldi store in Cullompton that opened this morning; Ivan & Jean weren't able to get over to buy the Satnav on offer, so Dawn popped over and bought one for them.
The physio gave us some good info this morning and told me not to be too keen on finishing with the crutches. This afternoon, I&J came to collect the Satnav and brought us some fresh local strawberries - scrummy!!
26/04/2014
Taunton
How's the saying go "2 steps forward, 1 back"? I spent yesterday evening examining the ceiling tiles in Taunton hospital after someone let off a box of fireworks in my knee (well that's what it felt like). They eventually decided there was no infection and it was
just a bleed; I felt like doing my Tony Hancock impression "it might be just a bleed to you mate .." The advice was that I've got to keep off it for a few days, but if it gets worse go to Exeter hospital (where I had the main op done) don't come here!
How are you getting on with the campsite internet Ann?
18.00
We've certainly had a variety of weather today; started off sunny, with the odd shower, then got windy this afternoon and is now hissing down. The van is in for its MOT, repairs etc on Monday, so we're renting one of the statics on the site here for a week. Dawn has been scuttling to & fro with stuff and tomorrow we'll get the van into travelling mode and move over to the static. Steve is driving the van in Monday and Dawn will bring him back. Exciting innit!
27/04/2014
Taunton
We're being blessed with more rain this morning.
Grandson Ashley is out on Dartmoor practising for the Ten Tors; rather him than me with the wind and rain of last night and the wind is going northerly today. Text from him last night :-
Hello finished it all today but worst weather ever seen! :( don feel well so may not walk it all tomorrow and all kit got soaked had to walk through river :). I used to fish on Dartmoor and Exmoor and they can be bleak places when the weather is against you; I'm hoping they have a properly trained instructor with them.
The van goes in tomorrow for repairs and MOT, so we're renting a static on the site here till it's finished. Head of housekeeping has been shuttling stuff across to the static; it'll seem strange having all that space around us!
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Ashley update text :-
Did it all, every part of my body is hurting and I've had like 3 hours sleep all weekend. Leaving soon.
28/04/2014
Taunton
More rain overnight, but bright now.
Last night was our first night in the static and I've heard the odd comment already about how much room there is; won't be long before RVs get dropped into the conversation.
Ashley finished the 10 tors practice course yesterday, despite having a tent malfunction (the pole broke). The main event is in 2wks and he sounds quite confident; we're really proud of him and I wish more kids would get outdoors and do stuff like that, instead of sitting in front of games consoles - plenty of time for that when you're old and grey and can't get out.
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Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?
A: 45 minutes.
29/04/2014
Taunton
A misty start, but it's brightened up now. Dawn's just taken some bread flour over to Mum, cos she's making rolls for a coffee morning later in the week.
I'm still laid up after the bleed in my knee, but the swelling is going down, so will hopefully be up and at em tomorrow.
30/04/2014
Taunton
That's another month nearly gone, soon be Xmas.
Dawn's off to the hairdressers this morning, to catch up on the local gossip and have her perm re-done; apparently it didn't work properly last time - looks ok to me.
16.00
Perms re-done to admin's satisfaction.
MOT's done on van, so I've taxed it online and now we are just waiting for the repairs to be completed, should be finished by Friday.