Les Lobbs Diary
I'm back off me hols, thanks for the good wishes. They
redid my kneecap and took away loads of scar tissue; it
seems some people produce more scar tissue than
others and I can do it better than most. Loads of
exercises to do again, but first I've got to get rid of the
after effects of the morphine - they should use that stuff
for making bricks!!
Cars going in for a service this morning, should be done
Dawn's picking up the car this morning and probably
going over to see Mum, before picking Alex up from
school this afternoon. Think I'll have a quiet day in,
doing my exercises and reading. It's a bit misty here but
should brighten up later according to t'weather man.
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and
down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help
him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons
for his wife. She points him to the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
wool balls and a ball of string on the counter.
Confused, she says "Sir, I thought you were looking for
some tampons for your wife?"
He answers " You see it's like this, yesterday, I sent my
wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and
she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So I
figure if I have to roll my own, so does she".
Decent start to the day, a tad cool though. The campsite's getting busier, with mostly vans stopping for a few nights and
we've had a tent here this week. The car has just had a service and seems in fair nick underneath. We've put a couple
of new tyres on the front as the others were well worn; I'm not bovvered how many dinks and scratches a vehicle's got,
but I do want good tyres. Off to see Mum this morning once we've had some brekky and I've got my leg moving.
18.00 - It didn't go quite to plan; Dawn went to see Mum and I rang her, cos my knee was well swolled and wouldn't
Paddy and Mick are working at the local sawmill.
One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic
bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital.
Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital and asks after Mick. The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising".
Paddy couldn't believe it, but there's Mick out the back exercising his now re-attached arm. The very next day he's back
at work in the saw mill.
A couple of days go by, and then Mick slips and severs his leg on another big saw.
So Paddy puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick off to Hospital.
Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies, "He's out in the Rehab again
And sure enough, there's Mick out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. And very soon Mick comes back to
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head.
Wearily Paddy puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Mick to hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Mick is. The nurse breaks down and, crying, says "He's dead."
Paddy is shocked, but not surprised. "I suppose the saw finally did him in."
"No", says the nurse, "Some pratt put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
What a grey day as that Larry wotsisname chap used to say. Leg permitting, I'm going to try and get over to see Mum
this morning, if head of transport will drive me. The peacocks here have got their full mating colours now and are a reet
good sight to see; tis a pity they have to make such a horrible call, but I spose they can't have everything.
I wonder how many got the first anagram without google? Our van goes in this coming weekend for a few insurance
jobs and its MOT, so we've got to get into "staying at daughters" mode and sort out what we need to take with us. Their
dog will enjoy it cos he normally drags Dawn off on a few bonus walks. This morning I must ring Taunton physios and
get an appt set up; I'm still not getting much bend on my leg, so the sooner I can get in, the better.
More fun today:- I've been bashing away at my exercises and yesterday I felt something "give"; the joint swelled up and
would hardly bend, so after ringing, we went to see the hospital physio. He said it was a bleed inside the joint, which
should disperse naturally, and gave me some less aggressive exercises to do.
While we were so near, we called in to see Mum on the way home. It's been a luverly day and Julie has just rung from
Dawlish, where she and Steve have taken Alex for the afternoon.
07.00 - Well it's certainly starting off well, with sunlight streaming through the van windows. I had a bit of a naff day
yesterday getting over the stronger painkillers and feeling like shite.
19.00 - How wrong can you be. When you have a knee op, their biggest fears are blood clots and infection and they tell
you to call if you feel at all unwell. It was apparent by mid morning that my sweating, shivering and lack of appetite
(yeah that's right) were not caused by drugs, so I rang and was told to come straight in. While the doc was taping a
canula to my arm, I flaked out and Dawn reckons I was gone for a couple of minutes, before they got a trolley and
some help to get on it.
The knee fellow came and looked at my knee and didn't think that was where the infection was and after loads of tests
and a chest xray they discovered I had a urinary infection. Armed with anti biotics and under strict instructions to go
straight back should I not feel better in a couple of days, we got home just before 6.
I took my son out for his first pint. Got us a Fosters each.
He didn't like it - I had his.
Then I got us Carlsberg, he didn't like that either, so I
had to drink his as well.
It was the same with Guinness and Cider.
By the time we got down to the whisky I could hardly
push the f**king pram home.
I wonder what today holds for us? I'd better tell you what
happened to me yesterday. I have a tight tube gauze
bandage to wear over my knee during the day, to reduce
swelling. As I can't reach to put it on, my loving other half
does it for me. She was pushing it up past my knee when
she lost her grip on the bandage and I got a straight right in
my nut cluster. I said, with tears in my eyes, "that was a
silly thing to do dearest" or something similar!
Just had a message to say that G&T are safely home again after their winter travels.
It looks another good start here; a little misty, but hoping to see the sun later.
There was a bit of a cafuffle just after four this morning, so I expect it was a visit from Foxy and we'll find a few feathers
and one hen less.
I think management is going to take us to Burnham this morning; I might be able to get my first pork roll of the season!!!
I still can't get far on my crutches, so an all-day brekky is out.
A few weeks back, Dawn told Mum that she was going to have her hair permed and yesterday, when we visited Mum,
she asked Dawn if she had got an appointment yet - she had it permed last week!!! Laugh, I couldn't stop; it's not often
you see Dawn stuck for words, but she just sat there with her mouth open.
Just back from docs after instant weight loss treatment;
they removed what felt like a couple of pounds of
staples out my knee.
Glorious wall 2 wall sunshine in Zummerset so chairs
out soon and do a bit of ray-grabbing.
Yesterday we met friends at Burnham; they were in their
camper and made a brew, which we enjoyed while
sitting round their picnic table - we got a few strange
looks from passers by, but sod em.
Another great start in Sunnyset. The grass cutter's been out
in readiness for the extra visitors Easter weekend should
bring; with the apple trees just on the point of flowering, the
place looks good. You know, you can see some beautiful and
stunning scenery abroad, but there's something about
springtime in this country that takes some beating.
I've probably used the bunny cartoon before, but it's one of
my favourites, so I'm making no excuses for using it again!
A&B - great looking van, you'll be spending more time there
than at home.
I'm on a new diet, it's called the Whisky diet - I've lost two days already!
J&J are over from France and are joining us today at the campsite, for a spot of lunch and a catch-up.
I've been reading a lot about "power naps" and how they can re-charge your system, I have even been doing a few trial
runs. It seems that a common problem is how long to nap for and how to wake yourself up.
Well I think I've got that one sussed; a full pot of tea between us right after lunch and my bladder will wake me, just in
time for 3-30 tea and biccies.
I would like to say I wake re-vitalised and full of energy, but I think I need a lot more practice before I reach that stage. I
tend to wake hungry, thirsty and bustin for a pee, but I am going to stick at it, cos you know what they say "no pain, no
John & Jean had lunch with us yesterday and it was good to catch up on
their news and go down memory lane a bit; they lived opposite our first
shop in Tiverton, before moving to France 25 years ago.
Can't do much today, cos I've got a hospital appt just after lunch.
Dawn's taken down all the curtains in the van and has been having a reet
good spring clean; this started after she had a look round a very pretty
PVC that stayed here for a few nights. Any day now I'm expecting "Chriiiis,
why don't we stop at Chelston and look at the vans"
Yesterday we left with double the normal time it takes us to get to hospital and arrived at reception with a minute to
spare (holiday makers, bless um!). I went straight in to see the knee fellow and he was pleased with the outcome of the
operation and said I could start pushing the exercises along. The trip back to Taunton was less stressful and SuperGran
got us home safe and sound.
Sex is like Air - it's not important until you aren't getting any!
Had a trip over to Mum's this morning cos the sediment trap on the oil tank
was dripping; just needed tightening and the spillage clearing up.
The valley road from Tiverton is a real picture and the back road to
Cullompton is the same, with fields in varying shades of green, mixed in with
the odd one of yellow rape and unsown red soil.
Dawn is keeping an eye on the kids until Julie gets home later and I've got the
van to myself.
****** FIRED ON THE FIRST DAY! ******
How do you manage to get fired on the first day in a Winnie
the Pooh costume?
By putting on your costume trousers the wrong way around!
05.30 - Happy Easter,
The Easter bunny has missed us (again), so instead of crème eggs for brekky it looks
as though it'll be bacon sarnies instead. Tis perhaps a good thing cos Julie is doing
us a lamb roast lunchtime, so don't want to spoil my appetite.
The fine weather is forecast to break up today, but it still sounds dry, with no pitter
patter on t'roof of van.
There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
14.00 - I used Skype to have a quick chat with Trevor this morning, surprising what
we find to talk about!
It's here, rain that is.
We had a great lunch and now I'm going to practise my power naps, after I've done
my exercises; I'm gradually increasing the bend so might get enough to try driving
in a few days. Baz, spot on answer!!
Taunton in the sun
Not another manic Monday, in fact quite a laid back day really.
We've had sun most of the day with the odd fluffy cloud, so the obvious thing to do was sit out and soak up a few rays.
The traffic report just now on local radio, has given solid traffic on the motorway from Tiverton to Bristol; what a way to
finish your holiday.
I've got docs in the morning and then we'll probably visit Mum.
It's drizzling this morning, but not cold. We called in to see Mum after the doc's yesterday and I had a look at Dawn's
handiwork in the garden; she's made a good job of it.
Update - it's now peeing down. We've nothing planned until the physio tomorrow morning, so it looks as though we'll be
having another quiet day in.
There is a new Aldi store in Cullompton that opened this morning; Ivan & Jean weren't able to get over to buy the
Satnav on offer, so Dawn popped over and bought one for them.
The physio gave us some good info this morning and told me not to be too keen on finishing with the crutches. This
afternoon, I&J came to collect the Satnav and brought us some fresh local strawberries - scrummy!!
How's the saying go "2 steps forward, 1 back"? I spent yesterday
evening examining the ceiling tiles in Taunton hospital after
someone let off a box of fireworks in my knee (well that's what
it felt like). They eventually decided there was no infection and
it was just a bleed; I felt like doing my Tony Hancock impression
"it might be just a bleed to you mate .." The advice was that I've
got to keep off it for a few days, but if it gets worse go to Exeter
hospital (where I had the main op done) don't come here!
How are you getting on with the campsite internet Ann?
We've certainly had a variety of weather today; started off
sunny, with the odd shower, then got windy this afternoon and
is now hissing down. The van is in for its MOT, repairs etc on
Monday, so we're renting one of the statics on the site here for
a week. Dawn has been scuttling to & fro with stuff and
tomorrow we'll get the van into travelling mode and move over
to the static. Steve is driving the van in Monday and Dawn will
bring him back. Exciting innit!
We're being blessed with more rain this morning.
Grandson Ashley is out on Dartmoor practising for the Ten Tors; rather him than me with the wind and rain of last night
and the wind is going northerly today. Text from him last night :- Hello finished it all today but worst weather ever seen! :(
don feel well so may not walk it all tomorrow and all kit got soaked had to walk through river :). I used to fish on Dartmoor
and Exmoor and they can be bleak places when the weather is against you; I'm hoping they have a properly trained
instructor with them.
The van goes in tomorrow for repairs and MOT, so we're renting a static on the site here till it's finished. Head of
housekeeping has been shuttling stuff across to the static; it'll seem strange having all that space around us!
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Ashley update text :-
Did it all, every part of my body is hurting and I've had like 3 hours sleep all weekend. Leaving soon.
More rain overnight, but bright now.
Last night was our first night in the static and I've heard the odd comment already about how much room there is; won't
be long before RVs get dropped into the conversation.
Ashley finished the 10 tors practice course yesterday, despite having a tent malfunction (the pole broke). The main
event is in 2wks and he sounds quite confident; we're really proud of him and I wish more kids would get outdoors and
do stuff like that, instead of sitting in front of games consoles - plenty of time for that when you're old and grey and can't
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a
A: 45 minutes.
A misty start, but it's brightened up now. Dawn's just
taken some bread flour over to Mum, cos she's making
rolls for a coffee morning later in the week.
I'm still laid up after the bleed in my knee, but the
swelling is going down, so will hopefully be up and at
That's another month nearly gone, soon be Xmas.
Dawn's off to the hairdressers this morning, to catch up
on the local gossip and have her perm re-done;
apparently it didn't work properly last time - looks ok to
Perms re-done to admin's satisfaction.
MOT's done on van, so I've taxed it online and now we are just waiting for the repairs to be completed, should be
finished by Friday.