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Les Lobbs Diary
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December 2013
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01/12/2013
Taunton
I've got quite a few Xmassy cartoons that I've collected over the year, so I'll use those to fill in the gaps this month; the music is old traditional stuff.
We're looking after the wee ones at Julies today; I was getting good speed on the wifi until they woke up and started on their eggboxes and faceache. It was a cool but dry start here and now it's just cloudy, so ideal weather for Max (black lab) to take Dawn for a walk round his favourite haunts.
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02/12/2013
Taunton
Last night was the first time I've slept in a real bed, in a house for months; I still prefer the van or boat. Tonight I'm sleeping here in the van and Dawn will stay with the kids; she's promised to help them put up the Xmas decs this evening - good luck to her. There are still a few vans using this site and we see quite a lot on the motorway, so it's not just a summer pastime.
Had a nice surprise this morning, mooring fees for next year - up 2% to £1617.82; narrowboating is not cheap!!!!
C
A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London but was in rather a hurry.
As they went by the Tower of London the cab driver explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412. The Texan replied "Shoot, a little ol tower like that? in Houston we'd have the thing up in two weeks!"
Next they passed the Houses of Parliament - started in 1544 and completed in 1618. "well boy, we put up a bigger one that that in Dallas and it only took a year"
As they passed Westminster Abbey the cab driver was silent. "Whoah! Whats that over there?" asked the Texan. The driver replied "I don't know, it wasn't there yesterday."
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04/12/2013
Taunton
After visiting Mum, we met Ivan and Jean for lunch at "The Admirals Table"; twas our first time there and we both enjoyed our meals.
Dawn has booked a table at a local craft fair this Saturday, so she is busy knitting Humpty Dumptys to accompany all the other work she has done.
Still doesn't seem very Christmassy around here yet, with few decorations showing and really mild weather.
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FMUK
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It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.
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07/12/2013
Taunton
Dawn's just finishing off the family of Humptys, ready for the craft fair this afternoon.
We had some rain overnight but it's not cold. Tomorrow we've got to take the van to Sainsbury to fill up with gas, cos I don't know how long after the op I must wait before driving again.
H
17.00
Dawn sold a few things at the craft fair, with help from Alex!
Tonight I'm home alone cos Dawn's looking after the wee ones, while Julie and Steve go to a B&Q staff dinner at Weston.
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If olive oil comes from olives,
where does baby oil come from?
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08/12/2013
Taunton
09.00 - Job's done; we've filled up with gas, 65.9p ltr and it took 34.26ltrs - fitting Gaslow bottles was one of the best things we have done to the van.
Head of housekeeping wants a trip to Weston, so that's the morning sorted; she crept in at just after midnight, then slammed the door to make sure the whole site knew she was back.
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12.15 - We had a ride to Weston and bought a few "essentials". Lots of folk shopping, with the noise of the ankle biters trying out all the toys, competing with the carols.
I'm in hospital tomorrow, so won't be updating this for a few days.
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If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
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Father Christmas was not in a very good frame of mind - in fact he was very depressed.

That morning after breakfast, Mrs Santa had told him that her Mother wasoming over to stay 'for a few days' and he knew that would be for several weeks, and as Christmas was approaching her visit was the last thing that he wanted.

The Elves had neen playing up and had gone on strike for more pay. The replacement elves Santa had put in were much slower and the number of toys that had been made was way down.

Father Christmas went to visit his Reindeers and found that two of them were pregnant and another two had kicked down the fence and had disappeared into the forest. He was by now even more depressed.

What I need is a drink he thought, but upon going indoors he found that the elves had hidden his Whisky and there was nothing left to drink in his liquour cabinet. Deciding upon a coffee he went into the kitchen but managed to drop the Jar of Coffee all over the floor. Now he really was cheesed off!

He went to fetch the broom to sweep up the mess but found that the mice had chewed off all the bristles.

At that moment there was a knock at the front door.

Upon opening it, Father Christmas was confronted by a beautiful Fairy holding a lovely Christmas Tree.

"Good Morning, Santa" she called "Isn't it a really lovely day. I have brought you this beautiful tree, isn't it lovely? Where would you like me to stick it?"

And that is why, by tradition, we have a Fairy sitting on top of our Christmas Trees.
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Taunton
10/12/2013
Shucks, thanks for the good wishes everbody, brought a lump to me froat.
Here follow the gory details:- got in hospital at 07.30 yesterday, had the op at 17.00; my tummy wasn't happy and was letting everyone know it. Had a spinal injection so was awake but dozy and when he'd finished, the surgeon took down the screen and waved this leg about, bending and straightening it - weird sensation, cos I knew it was my leg but could feel nowt.
This morning the surgeon and the physios said were pleased with it and I came back to the van this afternoon.
One embarrassing moment when a girl was taking blood; she said in a fairly loud voice "just a little prick"; I realise it must be in my notes, but she didn't have to tell the whole ward!
H
11/12/2013
Taunton
Back home in the van, now I've got to start my exercises again; bugger they hurt when I first start, but got to be a brave soldier! He opened up the joint fully along the last scar and removed loads of scar tissue and "crap", to use the surgeon's expression, from behind my knee and round my hamstrings.
Thick fog this morning and no sign of it clearing yet.
N
A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat things.

The first little boy says "Alligator"

"Very good", says the teacher, that's a big word.

The second boy says "Predator"

"Yes, that's another big word, well done"

Little Johnny says "Vibrator"

After nearly falling off her chair, the teacher says, "That is a big word, but it doesn't eat anything".

Johnny says, "Well my sister has one and she says it eats batteries like there's no tomorrow"
T
An apple a day, keeps the doctor away ..................... or is that one of Granny's myths?
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14/12/2013
Taunton
Popped to the Docs yesterday to have dressing changed - exciting life we lead, innit!
Taunton is busier than ever, with traffic queues everywhere.
John & Jean are over from France and popped in for a chat and a cuppa; good to see them both looking so well.
I'm managing a few steps without my crutches and can straighten my leg, so hopefully we're on the right road now.
The last few nights, I've heard something on the roof of the van and have just found out what it is - a peacock obviously finds it a good place to roost!
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Geppetto's latest - "Clowns"
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16/12/2013
Taunton
Well it's calmed down now, but it sure blew a good un last night.
Head of housekeeping is scouring Taunton for last minute goodies and I'm trying to sort out my web pages. I've nearly reached the data capacity for the hosting option I'm using and, as I can't find much to delete, it looks as though I'm going to have to fork out for a higher one - spose I could make it a surprise Xmas pressy for Dawn, but I don't think she'd appreciate it.
This campsite is getting more like a hospital annex every day; Dawn was talking to a lady from another van and said that I'd just come out of hospital and she told Dawn her husband had just gone in, with pneumonia.
A
18/12/2013
Taunton
06.00 - The birds must think it's spring, they're singing their hearts out this morning.
I had my dressing changed yesterday and, apart from the swelling, it looks good, so staples out next Monday. No child minding today and, if the weather looks OK, we may have a ride to the coast.
The "FMUK" button I have placed on some pages, is a link to a motorhome forum that I use - it's a friendly site with some good information and worth a look.
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19/12/2013
Taunton
The wind started picking up yesterday afternoon and really got whistling during the evening; heard lots of small things (presume branches) hitting the roof and had a couple of heavy hail storms.
This morning all seems well but a bit showery; the plan is to pop over to Julie's and do some stuff on her wifi.
H

22/12/2013
Taunton
Wet and windy here, not very Xmassy at all. Dawn has nearly finished her latest project, a knitted scarecrow with a mouse, robin and ladybird attached to it, I'll get a pic when it's finished.
We bought a DAB radio a few weeks ago and it's been a good buy; I've been listening to BBC radio 4 xtra, which does lots of old comedy shows. Yesterday I listened to an old Hump Littleton "I'm sorry I haven't a clue" xmas show and it was brilliant.
Andrew is visiting Mum this morning, so we'll time our arrival a bit later and hopefully have a chat with him and the kids.
For me, it's staples out tomorrow morning; they're getting itchy so not before time!
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Scarecrow
An old man walked into a bar and ordered 10 shots of whiskey.
The bartender asked, "What's the matter?"
The old man said, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend."

The next day the old same man came in and ordered 12 shots of whiskey.
The bartenders asked, "What's wrong this time?"
The old man said, "I found out that my son is gay."

The next day the same old man came in the bar and ordered 15 shots of whiskey.
Then the bartender asked, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?"

The man looked up and said, "Apparently my wife does."

24/12/2013
Taunton
Another windy night; Julie has lost a ridge tile and her neighbours fence is spread across the driveway. The site owner's daughter has a horse which didn't like the wind and spent a large part of the night trying to kick his stable down.
I'm taking advantage of Julie's wifi to do some uploads and updates, while Dawn is practising her ironing skills. Julie and Steve have taken the kids over to see Mum this morning; it's not often their work schedules let them visit as a family.
Dawn is cooking the turkey and gammons as she prefers to do it Xmas eve - suppose it started when we had the shops and opened on Xmas mornings.
I've had my staples out and it all looks OK, the little beggers do itch when they are ready to come out!

Many thanks for the Xmas cards and messages, if we have missed you, please accept our very best wishes for
A Merry Xmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year
26/12/2013
Taunton
We had a good day yesterday, visiting Mum at Ivan & Jean's and talking, on the phone, to Sue and Trevor and then Gary . Next stop was Julie's, where the kids were trying out their pressies and Ju was cooking lunch. After we had spoken to Roy and Madge in P'boro, we pogged out on after lunch chocs. Good job it's only once a year, I'm knackered!
Oh yeah, I did the driving for the first time since my latest op.
Mike and Jackie - have you changed your email address? I can't contact you.
28/12/2013
Taunton
05.00 - The wind has dropped at last and it sounds dry. I'm getting the hang of this driving lark again; we had a trip to Weston on Boxing day and went Lidling yesterday. Mum is home again now, so we're popping over there this morning.
There's an owl in the walnut tree next to us - I wish I knew bird calls better; I know it's not a barn owl, but without seeing it, I'm stumped.
29/12/2013
Taunton
Bliss - just taken the dressing off my knee and had a proper shower, without my leg wrapped in cling film, ahhhhhhhhhhh.
Grass is crunchy here but the sun is peeping over the trees, so should soon melt the frost.
Thanks to Barrie who sent me a link to owl calls; I think ours is a Tawny owl.
31/12/2013
Taunton
I was all keyed up to go in for my hernia op on Friday and this afternoon I got a phone call to tell me the surgeon wouldn't operate so soon after my knee op, because of the DVT risk; I don't think communication is their strong point!!
On the bright side - the new pants Dawn bought me for my hospital visit can now be returned and no doubt exchanged for a blouse for 'erself.