Silves Castle
Phil the barber
Water boy
Easy peasy
sausage dog
Phil's butterfly
Les Lobbs Diary
January 2012
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Silves, sun and cloud
Last night went with a bang; there is a fire/ambulance station near us in the town and at midnight there was a chorus of sirens and woo-woos. some of the vans had music going and it was quite a carnival atmosphere. We had a stroll into town this morning and found a cafe open for a coffee; we had strict instructions from Glenda - no toasty, or it would spoil our lunch. It's duck breast on the menu today with eggy rice starter and finishing with xmas pudding. Steve and Gaynor came in yesterday to talk about boats and look at some of our pics; they are thinking of doing a similar thing to us with summer on a boat and winter in the van. There are so many things to tell anyone thinking of buying a boat, but the main thing is to look at loads of them.
Crossword clue :- Drinking bender (5)
Try this one:-
Think of a number
Add ten, double the result, subtract six
Divide by two, take away the number you first thought of
The answer is always seven !!
Silves, light cloud
The meal went off swimmingly, but it started to cloud over in the late afternoon so we came into our van for coffee. Dawns got a croaky throat and can't speak too well - no, it was not one of my new year wishes! Now I'm in the dog house - Dawn was sitting having her bowl of cereals, when I, quite accidentally, knocked an umbrella off the top shelf and straight into her dish; the results were widespread, resulting in a complete change of clothes before we could go out.
For a clear explanation of the Euro crisis, as seen by an Aussie, go to the files link on the homepage and look at "EU1" in the video clips folder.
Question - What is the deadliest creature to humans ?
Silves, sunny
G&T have been struggling to get enough power from their single solar panel, so today they have gone to Ffsolar to get another one fitted; we have filled their spot with chairs and stuff so that nobody else parks there. A lot of vans arrived yesterday from Quarteira, where they had been turned off the land they were parked on. I've just found out how to do "mouseovers" on here, as in the "answer" button above.
What's behind the question mark ?
Silves, sunny
Now the holiday is over we decided to get some fish, to try out the new barby, but there were no sardines or mackerel at the supermarket, so we will have to try at the fish market in town. G&T returned sporting a shiny new solar panel; as it was Glenda's birthday they invited us all round for a drink to celebrate the birthday and the generous present (solar panel)Trevor had given her. Dawns had a rough night, bunged up with cold, but hopefully she is over the worst; she'll feel better when she gets out in the sun.
Silves, sunny
Dawn's a lot better this morning, so a trip to Lidl looks likely, and possibly the fish market on the way back. Roger has sent a few jokes, like the one on the left, which I will put up from time to time.
We're back from town with the shopping and a bag of mackerel (1.50€ for six!), so this afternoon it's test drive time for the new barby. Trevor is a happy bunny, with his new solar panel trying to outdo Battersea power station.
We ate the mackerel, eventually - I'd forgotten what a pain it is to get charcoal burning evenly; a chap is coming out next week to fit, or see about fitting, an exterior gas outlet, so that we can use a gas barby off our bottles

Silves, still sunny
Yesterday we had our usual stroll around town and visited China Joes, where we bought a thingy for cooking sardines on the bbq. Last evening G&T came to our van for a game of Cranium; you don't realise how little you know until you start playing this game. Dawn had a good selection of charades to do, with "The Naked Chef" producing a good few laughs along with a good imitation of Rod Stewart. Glenda produced her usual high quality of plasticine modelling, with examples of Wembley Stadium, nipples, and an excellent drawing of a wedding cake (with her eyes closed!). We had our coffee and toasty this morning and then spent the rest of the day back at the van.
Wisdom Of A Retiree !!

I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired?

Well I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background,

One of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch , and margaritas into urine.

Life is good!

Silves, feel guilty saying it, but sunny again
Defrost day for the fridge, so we have a table full of bits of cheese and yoghurts etc.. Trevor has traced the problem with his electric entrance step - hopefully; there's nowt worse than getting ready to set off and the step won't retract. We'll be having a shellfish, chicken, chorizo rice dish for tonight's meal, this will use up the bits and pieces we had in the freezer.
Question:- How many of the ancient seven wonders still stand ?
What does the phrase: suck, squeeze, bang, blow refer to?
No Barry it's not that !!
(Any answers not on the page can be found via the homepage.)
Same old
We topped up my dongle this morning and ended up at a cafe as usual; there was a strange clacking sound nearby, I expected a Spanish dancer to appear flashing her castanets, but no, it was the pair on the right clacking their beaks. It's a wonder the noise doesn't wake up the babies, when they're delivering them! I spoke too soon - Trevor has been busy trying to find the source of the step problem, which we thought was fixed yesterday; tomorrow it might be "under the van" time.
I've just uploaded a video clip called The lion queen - must see !!
You can download it via the homepage file link.
A blonde girl was cutting the grass when she ran over her cat and cut it's tail clean off. She picked up the cat, and the tail, and rushed over to her nearest Tesco; the manager looked at her in amazement and said "why have you brought it here"?
The step on Trevor's van is now whizzing in and out - so job's a good 'un. The chap came round to quote us for an exterior gas bbq point, but I decided to get it done in the UK, when we get back. We had our usual stroll and I'm still surprised by how polite the Portuguese drivers are; if you get anywhere near a pedestrian crossing, they will stop for you to cross - slightly different from France and Spain, where you take your life in your hands, and go for it !
This morning we visited the fish market and came away with 1kg of sardines - we filleted them and cooked them on the bbq; with loads of fresh bread they were scrummy.

Complaints to Councils –
Extracts from letters written to local councils:

1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow..

2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

Only in Britain
Only in Britain
Silves sunny
It looks as though we are in for a drop of rain this weekend, but we can't really complain. There is a local butcher at the other end of town, so this morning we went to" 'av a butchers "; we came away with a chunk of pigs liver (we prefer to slice it ourselves because they seem to like skin graft thickness over here ). For tomorrow, we also bought a couple of pork chops, and the whole lot came to only 1.69 €. Heidi, off the narrowboat "Peckham Poppy", phoned yesterday and said they were having a mild winter in Staffordshire, so let's hope it stays that way; even though we drained every drop of water we could from our boat, I'd still prefer no long freezing spells. We took a few bits into the charity shop this morning and bought a jar of homemade jam, I hope it's as good as their chutney! Dawn has just gone with Pat to get her dongle charged at a local "pay shop", 'spect she will come back with something herself.
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.

She says "Hello!".

He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he says, 'Do you know me?'

To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful
to his wife and he says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party
that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching
while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."
Each of the anagrams below is a synonym of "Peaceful"
Silves, sunny
No rain yet !! Dawn has just been to the supermarket for a paper (Saturday luxury!) and come back with a bargain - 5kg of long grain rice, so no Atkins diet for us.

If these look familiar it's because I got them from the "Telegraph "
I must thank Monseiur D., maths prof. retired, for his valuable imput; he has pointed out that, in the council complaints, number 10 is not as daft as it seems at first sight.
The faults do not have to be exclusive, i.e. the damp walls could be filthy as well, or the crunbling walls could also be damp.
(smart r's - I wish I was clever !)
Silves, showers !!!
I suppose it had to happen - last night it rained, and it's still spotting now.
The town was very quiet this morning with few cafes open; we are wondering if it is a holiday here. After our walk round town we went to the supermarket to replace the wine box, which could not have been filled properly or it would have lasted longer.
As it's Sunday I thought a religious quote would be in order :
"And on the eighth day God said, 'Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!'"
Silves, showery
It was too breezy and drizzly to sit out yesterday, so we visited G&T for a chat, and to stop Trevor from enjoying an afternoon nap. It's still p p pouring down - I'm fed up with all this rain; between the showers, we should still manage to get to town for our daily walk and a coffee. Our neighbour, Doug, is a birdwatcher and has identified the flocks of small pretty birds that feed in the short grass along the river bank, they are waxbills; we also see lots of egrets and herons.
Anything for the weekend?
Silves, sun is back - yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (but it's a bit windy)
I think today is laundry day as all my bedding has been thrown on the floor and there are bags of washing on the seats. Phil gave us a shearing demonstration yesterday, with his dog Tara as the model (or victim), she seemed to thoroughly enjoy it; photographic evidence above. I often wonder if Honda realised what their generators would be used for, everything from charging electric toothbrushes, to dog grooming. There are loads of vans here at the moment with more coming every day.
Something to ponder :- If quizzes are quizzical . . . what are tests?
Silves, sunny
We've got to collect the laundry at 17.00, but until then we are free agents. We did a good shop at Lidl yesterday and, on the way back, picked up mince and a couple of chicken legs from the butcher. Dawn did chilli with half the mince and froze the rest; we've only got a tiddly little freezer, so we have to be careful with the quantities we buy.
A junior nurse is sent onto the ward to get to know the patients. As she passes the bed of a chap, who has just returned from having an operation, he calls her over and asks "are my testicles black?". The nurse tells him everything will be all right and tries to walk away, but he asks again in a louder voice, and keeps getting louder; so to keep him quiet she draws the screens and lifts the sheets off him. After examining him she says "they look and feel perfectly normal, there's nothing to worry about". The chap carefully removes his oxygen mask and says " thank you nurse that was delightful, but can you now please find out - are my test results back?"

Genetically, what is the nearest relative to the whale?
Silves, sunny
We collected the laundry and, when sorting it, found a couple of towels that were not ours, so we'll take them back on our way through town. We're not going so early today as we are "guarding" G&Ts space, while they are away filling up their gas bottles at Portimao.
The towels belonged to the lady who runs the laundrette, so she was very grateful for their return. While we were near, we popped into China Joes and, after some careful consideration, we purchased two new coffee mugs (1€ each), because our melamine ones are getting stained from all the black coffee we drink. When we got back from town, we found Trevor busily filing away at a plastic fitting, which he was going to use as a filler for his water tank, see below. This saves balancing a funnel in the hole while filling up from bottles.
Silves, sunny
This morning we had a trip to the butchers, and bought a girt big lump of dead cow, which Trevor is going to cook on "Colin the Cobb" for Sunday lunch; the butcher was pleased, because G&T and Pat came with us, and we all came out with a bagful each. Dawn No1ed me yesterday, I think it was seeing Tara getting shorn that started it; I'm now back to the coconut look.
This little chap lives here, with no apparent owner; he is well looked after by the campers and is known as "Tosser".
What was the Dachshund bred for ?
Clue - it was not for hunting sausages !!
Pic taken by our resident "David Bailey" Phil
Apple announced today that it has developed a
breast implant that can store and play music.
The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.
This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about
men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
Apple does it again !!
Silves, sunny
Slow news day today !! Walk into town, buy paper - coffee & toasty and that's it.
Silves, very sunny
Another relaxed meal - started about 14.00, finished when the sun dropped behind the trees at 17.30; beef done a treat on Colin. We had our usual walk into town this morning, for a coffee, and to watch the world go by; the locals are always very friendly and polite, we end up Bom Diaing everyone we meet. Phil had to rush off this morning, because he had run out of gas; the gauges are not very accurate as they rely on magnets, and just clip to the necks of the bottles.
Something to ponder :- Why is the word lisp spelt with an "s" ?
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting.."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me.."
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck..."
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked..
"To get my teeth!"
Silves, sun and cloud
Dawn's brother, Gary, has just set up Skype on his computer, so we were able to have a long chat with him and Sheila last evening. We're just back from doing the weekly shop at Lidl, and having our coffee etc., to break up the journey home. I'm doing a new section, to put up some of the jokes people keep sending me - so keep them coming please; there will be a link on the homepage, when I get it done. There is a bit of cloud at the moment, so I can spend some time on the computer without missing too many rays.
The jokes section is partly done, so I have uploaded it while I have a good wifi signal. There are no links to it yet, but you can find it at
Silves, sunny
I've started putting funnies into the new "jokes" section, so did not enjoy so much sun yesterday. People are on the move, with Phil & Pat joining Steve & Gaynor on a trip to the local Baragem D'Arada for a few days; there are no facilities there, but it is very pretty. The other news spreading like wild fire among the campers, is that Roger got a little
"worse for drink" last night, and his kids are not letting him forget it.
Silves, sunny
We recently met a couple who were travelling in a converted horse transporter and fitting it out as they travelled; while talking to them, we discovered that Jim fits out narrowboats for a living. I've put contact details on the links page if you are looking to buy a narrowboat, or just want one fitting out - he specialises in live-aboards and has just completed one in the Oxford area. Gloria has gone back to the UK with the kids, for a few days; it will seem strange not having a chat on our way out. Because it was an early flight, Roger took the van and parked at Faro for the night so they could be near the airport - and have longer in bed !
We have found another charity shop, which is run by Portuguese; the first one we found is an animal charity run by a Dutch chap, which sells lots of different homemade chutnies.
The "Jokes" section is now up and running - I just need lots of new stuff to put on it Pleeeeease.
The link is on the homepage at
Silves, sunny
Looks as though our neighbours, G&T, are moving off on Tuesday, so we are having a last bbq meal today. Trevor has got a leg of lamb which he has been "modifying" with a knife and hacksaw - and damn good it smells too, as it sizzles away. Ann has sent me loads of funny stuff for the new jokes section, now all I've got to do is put it all together. We had a mooch round town this morning, and a coffee; most cafes shut Sunday but "Al Karib", our current favourite, was open. It has wifi which means we can update the Ipod and do an upgrade on the Kindle.
I'll stop now as tis aperatif time, and I don't want to get left behind !
Trevor has just given me a list of dates for the various Flea Markets on the Algarve - It can be found via the "Files" button on the Homepage under "Documents".
Silves, sunny
The lamb was very good, I boobed with the dessert, which was a frozen thingy - I thought it needed de-frosting .... it didn't !!! it tasted okay, even if it was liquid. As we passed Roger's van yesterday he was complaining of a headache, caused by all the house-keeping jobs he has to do while Gloria is in the UK - I think it's a touch of PMT. We've just got back from town after a quick trip to Lidl, where we bought some chops for dinner tonight and a few other bits. The weather is forecast to get colder over the weekend, I suppose it's the same NE winds that are freezing the UK at the moment, still mustn't complain.

Each of the anagrams below is a synonym of "hinder"

Each of the anagrams below is a synonym of "important"
Question :- Which sport made it's debut as an Olympic sport in 1992?
Silves, sunny
The temperature dropped last night, and the tap we get our water from was frozen this morning. We took a couple of bags of laundry in this morning - should be ready to collect 17.00 tomorrow. G&T are off to have their new external gas point fitted. and then to tour along the Algarve, visiting places that other people have recommended. Phil and Pat will be heading north soon, to catch the ferry at Santander. Roger has gone to pick Gloria up from Faro airport; she gets in early this afternoon. Seeing everyone on the move, makes us wonder whether it's time for us to try somewhere different.
Question: What would you get if you stacked all the London buses (double and single deckers) on top of each other ?