Shropshire before the rain
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With breathless anticipation,  the crowd awaits the unveiling of the Tony Blair Statue
Answers to all puzzles can be found via the "Answers" button on the Homepage
Here's another Mrs Brown clip
(Strong language) >>>>>>>>>
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Les Lobbs Diary
August 2012
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This month I've given the juke box thingy a rest and upped a bit of Rodrigo - Concierto de Aranjuez
The gif on the right shows the comparative size of planets etc. in the universe - I thought it worth sharing. (I didn't know Uranus was that big!)
1/08/2012
Taunton
I've got a pitted bottom (there's nowt worse) so have booked the surveyor to check it out before she goes back in the water. It looks as though we will need to have the bottom over-plated - there goes my beer money for a few months, but we'll wait and see what t'surveyor recommends. There was nothing to do at the marina before the survey, on 13th August, so we have come down to Taunton a bit earlier than planned. We had a good run down with no holdups and only a couple of showers.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a womans sex drive by 90% ... It's called Wedding cake.
When the Pope was visiting Ireland, he was asked what he thought of County Down .... he replied that it wasn't the same since Carol Vordeman had left.
2/08/2012
Taunton
This morning we took Julie and the boys for a surprise visit to Mums; when we walked in we were greeted with the smell of cakes baking. Mum is looking really well and was a bit shocked to see us all troop in; she was expecting us next Monday. On the way back we had the obligatory stop for the boys at McDonalds - I'm sure their burgers are getting even smaller, or it could be the "wagon wheel" syndrome. Silverton is in chaos, because some bright spark decided it would be a good idea to repair and resurface the two main roads into the village at the same time. Taunton is little better, with one of the main through roads closed and all the traffic trying to squeeze along the back streets, which have parked cars on both sides - oh to be back on t'cut.
Watch this clip, it shows what love and courage can do >>>
03/08/2012
Taunton
Well I've bitten the bullet and asked John to order the steel, and over plate the complete bottom plate. Using Julie's wifi, I have done all the updates on my laptop that I daren't do with the limited dongle, and downloaded a couple of you tube clips that I will trim and upload later.
This famous statue of David has just been returned to Italy after being on loan to the USA. (hold cursor on the pic)
I don’t claim to know too much about life saving .... But in order to bring this guy back to life, my money is on the girl on the right .....
06/08/2012
Taunton, Julie's house
A busy day today - took the van in at 08.00 and will collect it next Tuesday, then the dentist at 10.20 for repair to my denture (I had stuck a tooth back on myself and got it slightly wrong, I could have hung my jacket on it!); they were unable to get a price from the lab, so we drove over to the lab at Bridgwater. The chap I saw said he could do it straight away and I could pick it up at 13.00 - brilliant service and a really good job done. After a bite of lunch, it was time to take Ju and family to Exeter airport, for their flight to Turkey. We normally listen to Simon Mayo on radio 2, so, when I got back, I turned the tele on - big mistake - there are three remotes for Sky, hard drive and DVD player; the only channel I could get was an Irish bible bashing programme. Have you ever worked out the various options available with all those buttons? when I was selling teles it was just a turret to turn, and perhaps jiggle it a bit! The good news is I got radio 2 and have given herself strict instructions not to touch anything, or she can try and find it again.
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these 4 women do not know each other, or you could end up like me, dead.

Five rules for men to follow
for a happy life.
r.i.p.
A word of caution :- An Adobe Flash Player update has just been released; if you are going to download it, might I suggest that you make a restore point, before doing so. I downloaded it this morning and none of my flash videos or music would work, and I have spent a couple of hours going through various old restore points and re-installing stuff because I didn't make a restore point. (To make a restore point - control panel, system, system protection, create ) - this will give you a recovery point should you get any similar problems.
A lorry leaves point A travelling south at 45 mph.
A car leaves point B, 100 miles south of point A, travelling north at 60mph
Which vehicle is nearer point A when they meet?
Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station.
Mick "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two!"
Here are a few bumper stickers for wrinklies - thanks Peg
2 hrs stuck on the M5 between Tiverton & Wellington. Of course lots of people left at the Wellington junction and where was Mr Plod, controlling traffic? not a sight of him, probably hiding behind a bridge somewhere with a radar gun. Christ I'm getting more like Victor everyday! Before that we took a load of stuff to the tip and then went on to Mums. Dawn has finished weeding the front garden and has done half the back; we are going over there for Sunday lunch so she plans to finish it then. When I took Ju & family to the airport, there was a tapping from the exhaust; thinking it was just a band come off, we took it to Kwik Fit - hole and a split, needing two sections ..... £220. This dog sittings not a cheap hobby is it? This afternoon I rang the hospital and was told that the waiting time for knee ops is 9months from 1st appt, so it looks like February for me.
10/08/2012
Taunton
It seems as though there is another rash of "good old days" emails doing the rounds. I often wonder if the people who write and forward this drivel actually realise the hypocrisy in what they are doing. They are playing on their PCs (can't remember those in the good old days!) then they sit and watch their 96" TV (can't remember those in the good old days!) and criticise everything and everyone in modern day life. You don't see many of them blowing their candles out and getting on their bikes to take the accumulator for charging, so that they can listen to the wireless. They also conveniently forget other things from the "good old days" like smallpox, polio, rickets, smogs etc. The clincher for me though is "we didn't need to lock our doors then" - of course they didn't, they had bugger all to pinch.
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Here are a few sports commentary "bloomers"
1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."
5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them...Oh my God, what have I just said?"
Police cordoned off Liverpool City Centre this morning, when a suspicious object was discovered in a car...... It later turned out to be a tax disk.
13/08/2012
Taunton
This morning we said our goodbyes to Mum and then went over to Chelston, to pick up the van. We have put it on the campsite for the night and Dawn is now transferring our "stuff" back into it. Ju & co arrive back at Exeter airport at about 04.00 tomorrow, so I'm going to meet them and that way we can make an early start - I expect they will all be ready for a kip when they get home. John rang from the Boatyard and confirmed that all is going ahead as planned and that the welder has got the steel measured out and ordered.
A Scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the Counter and said 'Hi, I'm looking for a job'.
The man behind the counter replied 'Your timing is amazing’.
We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters.
You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided.
The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays.
The Salary package is £200,000 a year'.
The Scouser said 'You're bullshitting me!'
The man behind the counter said 'Well you started it!'
Here's another Mrs Brown clip
(Strong language) >>>>>>>>>
15/08/2012
Gt Haywood
We spent an enjoyable day in P'boro, with friends and family, and left late morning for a wet drive back to the marina. For safety reasons, a risk assessment has to be provided by the crane driver and welder before they can book the crane; they are looking at the middle of next week. The plan is to get all the steel cut and welded, the boat is lowered onto it and tack welded in place and then blocked up for the final welding; makes it sound easy!
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Use the letters from the word below, to fill in the blank squares, making complete words both down and across.
GUITARIST
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Use the letters from the word below, to fill in the blank squares, making complete words both down and across.
HERCULEAN
16/08/2012
Taunton
This morning we cleared the engine bay and lifted up the bilge pumps and any pipes touching the base plate. I had a chat with the welder when he arrived, he explained how he was going to do the job and was going to clean off the chine today, ready to take the new plates, which he is expecting today or tomorrow. There was nothing left for us to do so we have come back to Taunton until the job is finished; the surveyor who did our original hull survey is going to inspect the finished job and write a report for us.
A coach load of Paddys on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake to guess where they were going.....
The driver won £52!
Answers to all puzzles can be found via the "Answers" button on the Homepage
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!!
Blow that, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
Councils tidied up the streets, prior to London Olympics
The blonde went to an optician to have her eyes checked for glasses. The optician directed her to read various letters with her left eye while covering her right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the optician, in disgust, took a paper sack and made a hole in it to see through, and put it on her head to cover up the appropriate eye, and then asked her again to read the letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face. "Look," said the optician, "there's no need to get upset about getting glasses." "I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."
If I am a three digit number and my first digit is seven less than the second digit, and the second digit is four times the third digit ... what number am I?
19/08/2012
Taunton
The site here is nowhere near full, and most seem to stop for a couple of days only. There are usually lots of peacocks, chickens and guinea fowl running around, but a fox has killed most of the hens and some of the peacocks, so it's a lot quieter; the geese have survived, I don't know if they are too daunting a prospect for the fox. If this dry weather keeps up for next week it will make life easier for the welder to work on the boat; we're getting itchy feet and want to be cruising again. We are still undecided whether to do the Leeds & Liverpool or come south to the Kennet & Avon or through Londons Regents canal, to the rivers Lee & Stort --- we'll see how we feel when we get back onboard.

Police in Liverpool last night announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles with 25,000 rounds of ammunition, 20 tons of heroin, £5 million in forged UK banknotes and 25 trafficked Ukrainian prostitutes, all in a semi-detached house, behind the Public Library in Toxteth.
Local residents were stunned and a community spokesman said: "We're all shocked, we never knew we had a library."
When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkas saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexists. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloomin thing!!
21/08/2012
Taunton
05.15 - I'm going to pick up Steve and Ashley in a minute and take them to a local carp fishery, then later this morning we are looking after Alex, when Ju goes to work. Dawn has got the knitting bug again and is altering a cardigan that Mum had knitted and found too large.
I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's' iPod, after realising that " iTouchKids " is not a good product name.
19.50 - Fetched the anglers back, dry nets, everything else was wet though; we had some really heavy rain this pm and Ju rang to tell us that her store at Yeovil was flooded. Tomorrow I'm going to get some braid and show them how to tie their own rigs, because they are expensive if you buy the ready-made sort, and not always exactly what you need. The plan is to go over to Mums to put a new plug on her toaster, then take her to Tivvy for a spot of shopping and call at the Tackle shop and then the chippy on the way back. Dawn has done one side of the cardy and is going like a good 'un on t'other side.
23/08/2012
Taunton
Steve needed the car today, so Dawn took it back this morning and went with Ju and the ankle biters, to get their "back to school" stuff. When they got back to the van, I was presented with a doughnut - alarm bells, I didn't ask for one. While I was munching away, guess what came out of the bag ... yup, a pair of shoes; but it's alright because they were a bargain and just right for doing the locks!! (I'm writing to Clarks to nominate her for a lifetime achievement award) My laptop has started playing up and only turns on when it feels like it, I'm going to make sure the next one I get is a male.
I finally got round to updating the video clips, there are lots of new ones here >>>
24/08/2012
Taunton
This morning I was dragged screaming into a shoe shop - bloody near as bad as a barbers - if my memory serves me right. I know it was only to ease her conscience, so I decided to show her how it should be done - straight to the mens size 11 rack, tried on 2 prs, bought 2 pairs, back in the car, 5 minutes tops. I played it canny, let her carry the two boxes to the till; no free hands as we passed the ladies section.. clever ay?
26/08/2012
Taunton
Mum is staying at Jean & Ivan's this weekend and we were invited there for a roast last evening, 'twas very good. This morning we had a go at Mum's back garden, where the ivy was taking over, and then dumped it all off at the tip on the way home. The owners of the marina are now playing silly buggers about the hire crane that the workshop was going to use, their involvement has more than doubled the hire cost, so we will have to wait until after the bank holiday to sort it out. When we first moored at the marina it was privately owned and was a very friendly and helpful place, now it has been taken over by Lakeland Leisure Estates, a larger concern, originally involved with caravans, and the attitude has changed. We have talked before about moving to a marina further south and this might be the thing that starts us looking.
happy
happy
birthday
birthday
ann
ann
Murine is an adjective pertaining to which animals?
29/08/2012
Taunton
Just heard from John at the workshop, they have the boat on the new base plate and now need dry weather to weld it in place. They did it the old fashioned way with large jacks, so they didn't need the crane; when the plate is tack welded, they will jack it back up onto blocks for the final welding to be done. We will head up there tomorrow morning, though there's not much we can do until the welder has finished. Today we are Alex sitting at Ju's, until this evening, so it gives me chance to use her wifi.
A caption contest was held for this pic, this is the one that won.
30/08/2012
Gt Haywood
We left Taunton this morning at 02.00 and were glad we had put the pads under the front wheels, the field was sodden; apart from a few lane closures, it was a good trip and we arrived here at 05.15. We heard from Gloria yesterday, she is recovering well after the op and hopes to get parole on Friday.
The base plate is tacked in place and the boat is back on blocks, so now we want a few fine days for the welder to complete the welding, and the surveyor to inspect it. The lowering and lifting was done with jacks and the use of a fork lift truck; once it was raised, the hydraulic trailer could be used to move it into a better position near the workshop.